by Rabbi Ronald Garr and Minda G. Garr
One of the major challenges of working with a pre-adolescent and adolescent
camper population is the area of boundary setting and limits. David Elkind
(1994) describes the major psychological issue of middle to late childhood
(six to eleven) as the conflict between the desire to grow up and enjoy
the benefits of adulthood versus the desire to remain a child, enjoying
the accompanying benefits. In Erikson's (1950) model of psychosocial
development, adolescence (twelve to eighteen) is the fifth stage, with
the main conflict to be resolved that of identity versus role confusion,
and the development of peer relations as one of the major events of this
age group. Elkind (1994) speaks of the importance of establishing a stable
and resilient sense of identity. Adolescents need to make sense of their
experiences and to learn about themselves.
These are the children that make up our camper population. They come
to camp to learn about themselves and to make sense of their interactions
with others. They come to a safe environment where they can try on new
and different behaviors that might not be acceptable at home. They come
to a place where they can try on new roles and new experiences, trying
to unravel the mystery of the transition from childhood to adolescence
and the next transition from adolescence to adulthood.
One of the pivotal elements in structuring a successful camp experience
for campers is the establishment of clear limits and expectations. Counselors
are often surprised when confronted with camper behaviors that are difficult
to manage in the cabin or in the activity area. Not recalling their own
experiences as campers struggling with the many conflicts and issues
of childhood and adolescence, counselors often believe that trust and
kindness are sufficient conditions for a warm, cooperative atmosphere
in the cabin setting. They sometimes feel angry and hurt when treated
disrespectfully by their campers who seem unable to live and work harmoniously
together. They may feel resentful and exploited.
What Is the Source of This Problem?
Most children who come to camp want to have a positive experience. They
want to feel loved, encouraged, protected, and safe. But what is easy
to forget is that they are still children, and their expressed reasons
for coming to camp are to be with their friends and to have fun. And
for some campers, some of the time, having fun means being able to do
whatever they want, whenever they want—with no limits. For camp
staff and educators, finding ways to balance campers' need for
fun, and adult understanding of the importance of behavior management
and limit setting represents a major challenge.
Young campers may have difficulty controlling their behavior in a group
setting and may be too young to take on this responsibility. The freedom
of being far away from home and school and living in a cabin with others
their own age is a stimulating and exciting experience. There are many
times when they need an external structure and our active support to
behave in ways that are not only fun, but also inclusive of others. They
need to be guided by a sense of mutuality, respect, and direction.
Older campers may also engage in disruptive behavior, but the motives
are different. As they make their way from childhood to adulthood, no
longer children but not yet adults, they are struggling to figure out
who they want to be and who they are. One of the ways this struggle is
expressed in the camp setting is in their interactions with authority
figures—cabin counselors, activity counselors, unit heads, and
teachers. They confuse the staff and themselves as they waver between
resenting adult authority; feeling they should be treated as "equals";
and indicating in sometimes subtle ways that they should be able to count
on the "adults" for support, guidance, and protection. These
conflicting feelings can lead to puzzling and sometimes inappropriate
behaviors, as they vacillate between wanting to be treated as equals
and yet to be guided and protected. Eventually problems may develop in
the camper-staff relationship.
The Struggle
The struggle witnessed in the camp setting is an external projection
of the turbulence within as these adolescents struggle to grow into adulthood.
Adolescent campers may at times be defiant, rigid, arrogant, and egocentric.
At other times, they will be caring, sensitive, attentive, and thoughtful.
Adolescent campers often are not "pliable." They expect to
hear "reasonable" explanations to all requests and demands,
but "reasonable" often has to follow their logic. The life
of the counselor may be difficult, but it is never boring.
When functioning as a group, there are some additional reasons that
may contribute to disruptive behaviors. One of the first things campers
need and want to know when they begin the summer in a new cabin group
is the limits of acceptable behavior. Asking what the rules are is one
way to discover what these limits are. However, one of the important
facts of the informal communication network in camp is that some rules
are not as important as others, and only some rules will really be enforced.
Campers will "test" the rules to discover which ones the
staff is really committed to enforcing. "Testing" implies
experimenting with behaviors that disrupt the prescribed or expected
framework of cabin behaviors and/or camp activities, and to see what,
if anything, will be the response. This testing period may vary, depending
on the willingness and ability of the staff to establish boundaries and
to clearly and firmly enforce a framework of acceptable behavior early
in the camp season.
There is also a camp-specific reason why campers engage in unacceptable
behavior. The "testing period" is likely to be more pronounced
in the camp setting than it might be in non-camp settings. The informal
setting and the more complex relationships that the campers have with
the counselor as compared to a teacher at school, can contribute to a
lack of clear hierarchical boundaries. This lack of clarity has an impact
on counselors as well as campers. It is the responsibility of the counselor
through words and action to define this ambiguous and sometimes confusing
relationship.
It is the job of the counselor to convey to campers that in spite of
relaxed dress and setting, and in spite of first names and multi-faceted
relationships between counselor and campers, they have a clear mutual
goal on which to focus—building a well-functioning group unit that
knows how to play together, work together, and be together, in a framework
of cooperation, mutual respect, and consideration. This goal is not conveyed
when a counselor is absent from the cabin at critical times during the
day and evening, routinely begins activities late, is unprepared, or
does not insist on cabin and activity behaviors that contribute to growth
and learning.
Peer influences are more prominent in a camp setting. Parents are far
away, most daily interactions are with others of the same age, and counselors
are sometimes only a few years older than they are. When a popular child
chooses the path of misbehavior, others may follow unless there is a
clear adult presence that can help campers look at the consequences of
their actions.
Another reason why children who do well in school and other social settings
may choose inappropriate behaviors in camp is based on an often healthy
need—the need to experiment with new roles and behavioral options.
They are far away from the immediate influence of their families, schools,
and friends at home. With none of the usual constraints in place, campers
have the opportunity to experiment. They try out new ways of presenting
themselves to others and of interacting with adults and peers. At home,
they may be afraid or locked into habitual roles and behavioral patterns—but
at camp they may be able to try something new and different.
This is one of the great opportunities of camp life. Children trust
that they are in a protected environment, one in which it is safe to
experiment without worrying about parental reactions. For example, the
child who is almost too "good" at home may experiment with
acting out at camp, looking for ways to be noticed by "talking
back" or "getting
in trouble." It is important for the camp staff to support the
efforts of children to experiment with new roles, but at the same time
to insist that this experimentation take place within reasonable limits
that do not undermine the basics of emotional health and safety within
the camp community.
The Challenges
Serious challenges to senior staff arise as junior staff members sometimes
seem hesitant to identify, notify, and enforce even the minimal rules
in a serious way. There are several reasons for this. Often, cabin
counselors are initially very uncomfortable being in positions of authority
and managing the behavior of campers. They may wonder if they have
the right to tell campers what they can and cannot do. They may fear
that if they set limits, campers will dislike them. As a result, new
and even veteran staff members may try to completely circumvent the
problem of a hierarchy and authority. They will present themselves
to the campers as friends or as equals and directly or indirectly try
to make a deal with the campers:
"We will be nice to you, if you will be nice to us."
"We don't want to be mean counselors who are constantly saying, 'Stop
this! Do that!'"
"We don't want to be your enemies. Since friends respect
each other, let's just get along . . . ."
This approach is rarely successful. Very quickly, the counselor is likely
to find campers are taking full advantage of his/her trusting attitude.
Almost before the counselor realizes it has happened, the cabin or activity
group is out of control, and the counselor is feeling personally insulted,
demoralized, and very angry with the campers. At this point, the counselor
may try to change his/her approach, trying to establish him or herself
in the role of authority he or she had previously rejected. In his/her
attempt to do something different, s/he often becomes overly strict.
Campers are confused as the counselor moves from a laid-back approach
to behavior management to a strict authoritarian approach. They've
gotten used to the counselor as their pal, and at this point it is very
difficult to make a change. The counselor is feeling mad and frustrated
with the campers, experiencing the group as out of control, and campers
are angry and upset because the counselor is changing both the rules
and his/her own behavior.
Staff Training
Although possible, it is challenging to make a successful change mid-session
in management style. We suggest that it is more effective for counselors
to explore some of the issues relating to limit setting, boundaries,
and the use of authority before the camp season begins.
Knowing what to expect can be helpful in handling behaviors that are
disruptive, or hopefully even preventing situations that may lead to
hurt and angry feelings on both sides. A firm and clear approach to behavior
management can make the difference between an exciting and meaningful
summer experience and a confused and chaotic experience. Being clear
does not mean being mean. Being firm does not mean being distant and
uncaring. Children know we care about them when we provide an environment
that is structured, with lots of room for play; an environment which
has limits, with lots of room for caring and support; and an environment
with clear boundaries where they can know for sure they are safe and
protected.
| References |
| Dinkmeyer, D. (1998) Parenting Teenagers: Systematic
Training for Effective Parenting of Teens (STEP). Circle Pines, American
Guidance Service. |
| Elkind, D. (1994). A sympathetic understanding
of the child. Boston: Allyn and Bacon. |
| Erikson, E. (1950). Childhood and society. New York: Norton. |
| Mackenzie, R. (1997) "Setting Limits in the Classroom." American
Educator 21, Fall. 32 - 43. |
| Steere, B. (1968). Becoming an Effective Classroom
Manager: A Resource for Teachers. New York: SUNY Press. |
Originally published in the 2006 November/December
issue of Camping Magazine. |
