Establishing Clear Limits
Second in a Series of Four Articles

by Rabbi Ronald Garr and Minda G. Garr

General points to keep in mind before and during the camp season:

• Be clear. Campers want and need a clear framework in which to function, even though they may say or act as though they don't. They may complain when certain rules of conduct are established and enforced, but will often feel relieved that the boundaries of permissible behavior have been clarified.
• Rules help. When campers behave inappropriately in camp, it is often because they want to force the staff to establish and enforce clear-cut behavioral limits. They may not be able to admit to this need, but their misbehavior is often a plea for rules. But don't overdo it. A few clear and simple guidelines for behavior are usually all that is needed.
• Follow through. The camper who "gets away with misbehavior" or who "makes the counselor look weak" may seem happy with him or herself but is often also feeling guilty and ashamed. The camper usually needs the counselor to be willing and the able to set reasonable limits for his/her conduct. Behavioral boundaries provide a sense of safety.
• Protect. Campers want to be protected from inappropriate behaviors of other campers. Sometimes they even need some help with their own impulsive actions. They need to know that the counselor is strong enough and willing to provide this kind of protection.
• Setting clear limits conveys a sense of caring. Counselors reluctant to manage the behavior of campers because they are preoccupied with having the campers like them, are often thought of by their campers as weak, unable to maintain control, or not caring enough.
• Be consistent. Campers respect counselors who set reasonable limits and enforce them consistently and fairly. Campers do not respond well to counselors who make unreasonable rules or who enforce them inconsistently or in an overly forceful manner. It is possible to develop a few reasonable rules and to enforce them firmly and respectfully. Consistency creates a sense of security. All counselors living in the cabin must decide on the limits to be set, and act as a team in a consistent way.
• Be reasonable. Though we may want to consult with our campers, it is up to the staff to make a final decision about what is a reasonable rule. We have to ask ourselves: "What conditions must be present in the cabin or activity group if we are to work with these campers effectively?"
• Setting limits is a necessity, not an option. We can't ignore the issue of limits, boundaries, and authority. The campers won't let you. The real task is for the counselor to articulate his/her role in the cabin hierarchy clearly, firmly, and respectfully.

Rabbi Ronald Garr, M.A., has been on the faculty of the David Yellin Academic College of Education in Jerusalem, Israel, since 1984 as a lecturer in adult and family education. Since 1979, Rabbi Garr has spent his summers at Camp Ramah in Wisconsin as program director for fifteen summers and director of staff training for twelve summers.

Minda Garr, M.S.W., has been on the faculty of the Paul Baerwald School of Social Work and Social Welfare of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem since 1981 as a lecturer in social work practice courses and academic advisor of the school. Since 1979, Garr has spent her summers at Camp Ramah in Wisconsin as camp social worker and staff trainer.

Originally published in the 2006 November/December issue of Camping Magazine.